The Unauthorized Autobiography
(UA.xiii) Headquartered in green mansions.
"Green" or fresh wood is more difficult to burn than dea, old wood. This gives the VFD buildings a metaphorical inflammability.
(UA.11) Valorous Farms Dairy
(UA.19) Leave their mark on members' ankles; do noble work, but aren't paid: volunteers. Like to use the phrase "The world is quiet here."
(UA.30) Part of their code involves a black Jeep in the northwest corner of a parking lot, possibly just that of the Orion Observatory.
(UA.27, 44) Use tunnels under the city.
(6.214) Ex: The underground hallway that begins at the bottom of the elevator shaft at 667 Dark Avenue and ends at a trapdoor on the Baudelaire property.
"Charlotte's Web" by EB White
"Green Mansions" by WH Hudson
"Ivan Lachrymose: Lake Explorer" by Vincent Francis Doyle
"Ramona Quimby: Age 8" by Beverly Cleary
"Matilda" by Roald Dahl
"Grimm's Fairy Tales" by The Brothers Grimm
"The Coded Poetry of Edgar Allan Poe" by EA Poe
"I Lost Something at the Movies" by Lena Pukalie
"Nine Stories" by JD Salinger
"The History of Lucky Smells Lumbermill" by Sir (also: 4.60)
"Little House in the Big Woods" by Laura Ingalls Wilder
(UA.134) A tape is hidden between pages 302 and 303 of a very boring book.
(UA.47) The second half of the Building Committee meeting transcript (UA.33-51) is hidden between pages 302 and 303 of Josephine Anwhistle's copy of "Ivan Lachrymose: Lacke Explorer" (3.121).
(UA.30, 36) Test their neophytes on code information every month at 9 am for more than seven years.
(UA.36) VFD Pledge: "The World is Quiet Here"
(UA.38) VFD gets permission before taking new members.
(UA.39) Description of VFD recruitment:
"Quiet" is equated with "extinguished."
(UA.41) Use automobiles in exact locations to store necessary files and convey messages.
(UA.xvi, 37) Brandy is drunk at their meetings.
(UA.44) Conduct experiments on sunflowers.
Headquarters have included:
1485 Columbia Rd.
Versailles Post Office
Abandoned Shack in the northwest region of the Finite Forest.
(UA.49) Bottom photo shows a Jeep parked neer a former VFD headquarters.
Note the date on the top photo: Oct. '77.
(UA.37) VFD makes maps. Their headquarters at the time of this transcript included a sculpture garden, and a puppet theatre (UA.45).
(UA.49-50) Bottom photos show sculptural gardens near both former VFD headquarters.
(UA.52) Neophyte recruitment from San Francisco, Calif.
(UA.75) Collections include the former Daily Punctillio archives in Paltryville; the Library of Records at Heimlich Hospital; and Dr. Montgomery's books, which were guarded by watchful reptiles.
(UA.77) Transmits coded messages in theatrical performances.
(UA.61) Transmits coded messages in films directed by Dr. Gustav Sebald.
(UA.79) Veritable French Diner at 141 Dark Avenue. Their fixed price theatre dinner special leads one to assume that they are located near at least one theatre; and, of course, are on the same street as Jerome Squalor's apartment building.
(UA.84) The Vineyard of Fragrant Drapes
(UA.99) Veiled Facial Disguises
(UA.101-03) Various Finery Disguises
(UA.96) Under normal circumstances, VFD apprentices do not receive disguise kits until their years of apprenticeship are finished.
(5.66) Coach Genghis Disguise sweatpants, sweatshirt, expensive-looking running shoes with very high tops, shiny silver whistle, turban held in place with a shiny red jewel.
(5.168) Lemony's Bullfighter Costume scarlet cape made of silk, vest embroidered with gold thread, and a skinny black mask.
(UA.98) The address of the headquarters on Dark Avenue is a three digit combination for the safe that Jacques sent a disguise kit to Lemony in.
(UA.97) "Someday, perhaps, the world will indeed be quiet once more, but until the fires have been extinguished we must go our separate ways and risk our separate lives."
VFD's goal involves extinguishing fires.
(UA.122) Members must take a solemn vow to maintain the organization's secrecy.
(3.98) "'That's a very sad story,' Larry said, and everyone turned to see that their waiter was still standing over them. 'I didn't realize this was a sad occassion.'"
(UA.135) The Anxious Clown Waiter says "I didn't realize this was a sad occassion" to Eleanora and Arthur Poe several times, but neither sibling understands what is meant by it.
(UA.146) The local library is decorated with a new sign:
The World Is
at you Fingertips at the Library! Please Be
(UA.154) Sang the coded song and received the coded message: "Well, young lady, have you been good to your mother?" means "I have a message for you." The appropriate reply is: "The question is, has she been good to me?"
(UA.162) From "Ivan Lachrymose: Lake Explorer" (Very False Documents Press), pages 302-03:
"At this point, I hope this book is so boring that no one is reading it, because this tedious biography was not written for people to read. It was written so that crucial documents could be stored right here, between pages 302 and 303. If, by any chance, you are reading this book for entertainment and not to find crucial documents, allow me to apologize for how boring it is."
(UA.164) Very Fancy Doily Press prints "The In Auction Catalog."
(UA.165) Voracious Film Discussions Press reviews "Zombies in the Snow" on pages 302-03.
(UA.167) Venom Feels Delightful Press catalog includes work on the coded communication of the Mamba du Mal.
(UA.170) "Our special 'emerald lumber' was used for years by a variety of organizations for the construction of their green headquarters and for a few green homes, including the mansions constructed by the Snicket, Quagmire and Baudelaire families."
From Sir's "The History of Lucky Smells Lumbermill"
(UA.173) From "Green Mansions" (1904):
"...an ebony stand . . . its surface ornamented with flower and leaf and thorn, and winding through it all the figure of a serpent; . . . and finally, the disposal of the mysterious ashes -- that was all there was relating to an untold chapter in a man's life for imagination to work on."
Which man? According to UA.175, Lemony beleives this man to be an associate of Olaf.
(UA.191) New VFD members no longer get tattoos because "Since the schism, we have realized that it is not wise to permanently mark oneself with a symbol when the meaning of the symbol may change at any moment."
(UA.204) Very Fast Delivery: Is this a clue as to what this truck is actually involved in?
The Unauthorized Autobiography
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