September 22, 2003

Ten Questions for Lemony Snicket
Nick.com managed to score and interview with the infamously hard-to-pin-down author Lemony Snicket. We asked him about his books, his characters and a little rumor we heard about "A Series of Unfortunate Events." Here's what the morose Mr. Snicket had to say....

1. What's the story with the Mr. Poe? He can't seem to ever recognize Count Olaf, no matter how bad the Count's disguise is.
The story with Mr. Poe appears to be one of vague optimism, mild imbecility and a slavish devotion to bureaucracy. This story, I think, has a very clear lesson: If you ever meet someone who insists that there is one and only one correct way to do something, do not trust this alleged individual.

2. What does Sunny want to be when she grows up?
An adult.

3. If Count Olaf is one of the world's six worst villains, who are the other five?
The names of the other five are too frightening for me to write down, and already receive far too much publicity.

4. What are Violet, Klaus, and Sunny's favorite books?
The Baudelaires all have different tastes, as it should be. Violet, with her talent for invention, enjoys the work of Jules Verne and Rube Goldberg. Klaus, perhaps the most serious reader of the siblings, prefers works by Ellen Raskin and Vladimir Nabokov. And Sunny, with her enormous teeth and growing interest in cookery, will probably enjoy the works of Bram Stoker and M.F.K. Fisher, as she grows older.

5. You were once exiled by the High Council. How was that?
Very unpleasant. How do you think it was?

6. This Daniel Handler character-do you trust him?
As much as one can trust any writer.

7. Do the unfortunate circumstances surrounding the Baudelaire orphans have anything to do with luck, or lack thereof, or is the universe simply cruel?
Try as I might, I have been unable to understand the difference between "luck" and "the cruelty of the universe." This might be why I am not a particularly religious person.

8. Why name your pen Alphonse?
It seemed fitting. Why name your website nick.com?

9. Rumor has it that the books will soon become a major motion picture. Was there some sort of blackmail involved?
I have been begging and begging the people involved with the movie to halt all work on it, before the world's viewers become as depressed as the world's readers. If necessary, I will resort to blackmail, although it is a risky activity for someone as nervous as myself.

10. Why so glum?
Recently, I read an essay which told me that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, so a proper exercise regime would involve plenty of frowning.